Don’t Look Where You Don’t Want to Go

Divorced man deciding what path to take for divorce recovery

There is a saying: “Never look where you don’t want to go,” however, how many of us spend hours obsessing about what we don’t want to have happen in our lives? We spend so much time attempting to avoid problems that we end up perpetuating the problems with our continued focus on avoiding them.

We think to ourselves “I don’t want this to happen” or “what would happen if that happened.” We spend excessive energy worrying about making sure something doesn’t happen, while attempting to control the outcome. To make matters worse, in some cases, we are actually avoiding obstacles that may help us change, due to our unsubstantiated of fear of the unknown! These road-blocks may look scary, but are they truly as scary as they look?

We all have a perceptual bias based on our past experiences. However, if we define things from this place we may find we continue to get the same outcomes. As Einstein said, “You can’t continue to do the same thing and expect a different outcome.”

We create a set of rules to allow us to stay safe, and this obviously can be quite advisable at times. At other times, however, we can instate rules we think will protect us, that are actually detrimental to our growth.

What if instead, we allow ourselves to head down a road without necessarily knowing the outcome? For most of us this seems very scary, but if you automatically judge it’s scary and dangerous, you cut yourself off from the possibility it could be life transforming. If on the other hand you surrender to just experience what may lie ahead, amazing possibilities have the potential to occur.

Most of us love to focus on our problems. We want to look at what is wrong and then look at how wrong it could go. Then we analyze the worse possible thing that could happen, which ultimately sets us up for failure. We obsess about our problems; the thing is we can’t stop thinking about our problems, because the nature of our problems is our thinking mind!

If we can just get ourselves in the present moment without judgment coming from our past experiences and anxiety as to what we might experience in the future, we have already stepped away from the problem that is perpetuating more of a problem.

The real problem is we are dwelling on the problem, creating more of a problem! If you can step away from all this and into the solution or acceptance mindset, you have surrendered rather than trying to control. This is where true life changes can occur.

We must shift our perspective from the problem set to the solution set.

Anything you do when reacting to a problem will add energy to that unwanted state. We attract what is happening in our lives based upon our emotional set of experiences within our energy field. Like attracts like. If you walk around insecure, you will attract other insecure people or people who make you feel more insecure. If you always think something bad will happen to you, just watch how the universe will perpetuate bad things happening in your life.

We are co-creators of our reality whether we choose to be or not. Our world is a sea of possibilities and solutions. We are the ones that create the rules.

If the change you intend is visualized clearly, the belief is strong, and the emotional force behind the intention is focused, the possibilities become limitless. Anxiety becomes non-existent, because you are not only in the present moment, but your thoughts don’t go to the terrible outcomes you’ve experienced in the past or the future terrible outcomes you might experience. You stay in the present pool of possibilities that have the potential to occur.

If you can shift the way you see and experience your reality, you can access all possibilities and not just perpetuate the ones you don’t want.

Changing your life is not a conscious decision you can fully control; you must learn to surrender.

You must trust, have faith and be open to change. You must accept a new outcome. Just remember, there is always a choice. The only time we can’t choose is when we “think” we don’t have a choice. If you are truly wanting to make changes in your life and don’t necessarily know what to do, try meditating or journaling on it. Ask yourself questions such as, “If I knew what to do, what would it be? or “What is it I’m not asking?”

Be careful not to ask a question in a negative such as, “Why do all these bad things keep happening to me,” because you will probably get answers as to why bad things happen to you.

Don’t wait for the right answer – If you wait thinking you will know it when you see it, you might be waiting a long time. Create the change you want in your life. Have faith. Trust in your intuition. Stay present and focused in the outcome you want to achieve and then I advise staying focused on looking to where you “want” to go instead of where you “don’t” want to go.

Guest post by: Lisa Decker M.S., PAS, CES, PES, CPT

This article was influenced and guided by the works of Dr Richard Bartlett, Dr Joe Dispenza & Rhonda Byrne.


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